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The funny part is I do, and I can relate to EVERY ONE OF THESE !!! 
-If you defend your 3800lb car when people call them land yachts
-If you carry a tool set in your car just in case anything breaks
-If you carry a screw driver in case your y-pipe blows off
-If you never race for money
-If you wait for the revs to drop when shifting into 2nd or 3rd because the gears are grinding
-If you get called out by every ricer at the races because they think your stealth is an Avenger with a body kit
-If you pull up at the races and everybody looks confused as to what it is that you're driving
-If your stock turbo's are so small that your car works better without them after they drop off at 5200RPM
-If every time you fight with other car owners comparing your cars your last comment is about the 3S having unique styling
-If you're trying to get to 12's and your only $100 in parts away
-If you're trying to get to 11's and your only $3-4000 in parts away
-If you're trying to get to 10's and your only $24,000 in parts away
-If you're on eBay and see a current bid for $250 on an s-afc2 and you send him e-mail bartering for $150shipped
-If the price on a used S-AFC2 even depends on mileage
-If you have lost to 50 Supra's then after beating 1 supra you have a victory party
-If performance shops tell you moding your car is a waist of time and money because of weight
-If your car is in the same weight class as mini vans
-If your front turbo is bigger then your rear turbo
-If you bogg off the line in a race and the competing rwd/fwd car brags about taking you off the line
-If your VR-4 gets *** talked by a civic because he beat a SL 3kgt and doesn't know is a TT model
-If a street tired RWD/FWD car is convinced he can take your VR-4 off the line
-If nobody knows you have AWD
-If every time you make a sweet launch everyone thinks you spray nitrous
-If every time your launch people say your front tires lifted off the ground
-If you have been through 3 transmissions in 2 years
-If every time you go for an All Wheel alignment they say they can't align all the wheels
-If every time your take your car to dodge for a new T-case they deny you
-If you take your Stealth to a Mitsubishi dealer because Dodge acts like they never made your car
-If you have ever had a dream 3S's made it into the 9's
-If everybody calls your car a DSM
-If you are afraid to race a DSM
-If your car has more issues then a woman with Bipolar
-If every time you're looking in a car magazine you try to find a 3000gt/Stealth
-If your car costs you more to fix then the amount you paid when you bought it
-If you swear every year Mitsubishi is coming out with a new 3000gt
-If your massively upgraded turbo's look the same size as your stock turbo's
-If when your at the races everyone *** talks your car until you launch in a race then everyone is on your nuts about how fast it is
-If your car always averages 100MPH on the highway because it feels like your going under 60mph
-If your passenger can never tell how fast your cruising because the rides so smooth
-If when your racing on the highway you don't notice how fast your really going until you topped out 4th gear
-If nobody believes your 5speeds 3rd gear tops out around 125-128MPH
-If your turbo's are so small you make 2psi at idle
-If you've spun more bearings then times you've changed your oil
-If you daily drive your SUV because it guzzles les gas then your VR-4
-If you go through more Transmissions/Transfer cases then sets of tires on your car
-If your car has more wiring then a server rack
-If your car has a moveable rear spoiler that doesn't actually move.
- If you are constantly saying, "Gee, those wheels look nice, but will they clear my calipers?"
- If you know how many splines are on the output shaft of your transmission.
- If you've looked under the hood of a friend's car and said, "What the heck, where is everything?" - and then realized you were looking at a non-turbo.
- If you have ever bought a tool just to get to a specific bolt in a hard-to-reach place on your car.
- If you spend most of your life on 3si
-people ask "whats that noise?" and you reply "which one"
-If everytime you go to work on it everything that can go wrong does.
-If your car costs you more to fix then the amount you paid when you bought it
- you are in constant fear that every new ticking sound is a spun bearing.
- If your car spends more time in the shop than it does on the road.
- If you knew nothing of servicing a vehicle before you bought it, but now everybody thinks you're a bloody mechanic.
- If you've every raced someone that would have walked you once they had traction, but they gave up after you put 2 bus length on 'em after the launch cause they have no clue about AWD.
- If somebody has ever asked about your sweet new pontiac because they've seen your GTO badging.
- If you've ever been told by some ricer that his buddy with a Mitsubishi 3000GT could smoke your Stealth, or vis versa.
- If you have more broken parts in your garage then an auto wrecker.
- If you own 2 3S's and one is just for parts to keep the other one running.
- if your pissed about the datalogger cable being damaged but don't worry about the laptop that was stolen out of the car
- if you have more interior bulbs burned out than working just because its too much work to fix
- if your best audio upgrade was fixing the power antenna
- if you pull over to the side of the road every time you get a whiff of gear oil
- if you suspend or cancel your insurance when getting ready to work on the car because it may take a "while"
- if you get paranoid because you can speed up faster than you can slow down.
- if you alternate which lane you drive in every 10 minutes to minimize tire wear
- if you try to blind opponents with clouds of blue smoke.
- if you modify your high performance vehicle with parts from wal-mart
- Modified your car as far as you want to go, but afraid to run it at the track for fear of breaking something.
-If you own a compression tester and an intake pressure tester that you made yourself (or bought from another 3S owner, you know ***
-If you have a short throw shifter.......but still can't shift faster than when you was stock.
-If you know more about WRX turbos than WRX owners.
-If your laughing histarically right now.
- your car is 15 years old and you're convinced it's the best looking thing on the road.
- you shop at Home Depot for parts for your $40,000 car.
- FWDs beat you off the line because you're afraid of breaking something.
- being able to see the ground from above the engine is an improvement.
- you argue that your car weighs "only 400 lbs. more than a supra".
- you have a tennis ball or gatorade bottle in your engine bay.
- the first response to telling someone what car you drive is "too heavy."
- you have AWD, AWS, active aero, digital climate control, electronically controlled suspension, but no cup holders.
-when your going in to a turn seeing ppl slam on their brakes, and your just zooming by them.
-you cause a girl to rear end someone as you drive by and she is staring and runs right into the back of the car in front of her (true story)
-If your girlfriend says you have a wing that moves by itself but you still have to crank to open the sunroof?
- If you have an electric sunroof but only wish you had the kind you have to crank.
- If your headlights cost more than your turbos
- If your Dodge has parts from a Mitsubishi made 5 or so years later.
- if your 3000GT/Stealth has a pretend trunk
- if your back seats can only fit a midgit, a very small midgit
-if your back seats are only comfortable to people with no legs from the knees down.
-If you ever had a mechanic look under the hood and respond "what the *** Japanese people must have small hands"
-If you drive with you knees touching the bottom of the dash
-If your passenger has ever accidentally adjusted YOUR seat while you were driving.
-If your turbos are smaller than your girlfriend's hairdryer
-If the only car that creates more heat under the hood is a FD3S RX-7.
-If your sitting at your computer trying to think of things that make you a 3S owner
-when people ask is that a woodpecker under your hood? and you reply its just lifter tick
-If you refer to your hydraulic lash adjusters as lifters, even though you have overhead cams......
-If your engine have more torque at 2,500RPM than an LS1.
- you find out you have an alarm by setting it off
- your active aero spoiler only works when it rains
- you take any random odd part off from your car and atleast 4-5 3si members want to purchase it from you
- you pay more for gas than you do for your own kid
- the SRS is always light on your dash
- your car has a movable spoiler, all four wheels that turn, electric seats, heated mirrors, climate control and no passenger side airbag...
- you have never seen the keyless entry remotes
- you can tell exactly when your car goes from closed loop to open loop and vice versa without the aid of a datalogger.
-If you are thinking of buying stock parts off a DSM
-Your upgraded fuel pump can be heard before your car comes into view
-You can tell how fast you can accelerate while saving gas by listening to your fuel pump
-If you have a Mitsubishi emblem on your Dodge (for you Stealth 99 front convo people, lol)
-You try to think of reasons your can is better than a Supra.......when the real reason is you couldn't afford a Supra
-If you can actually read a vacuum diagram
-If you'd rather spend money on a cheaply made knockoff part than buy a reliable part from a reliable source.
-If you know more about working on your car than the mechanics at the dealership from where it came from.
-If you called other people with stick-on ducts ricers while having fake rear brake ducts on your car.
-If you have more polished things under your hood than anywhere else on your car.
-Your brother or (someone you know) buys a vr4 because you know how to work on them
- If the down pipe you bought made specifically for your car doesn't fit.
- If you're more worried about spinning a bearing than spinning out.
- If mustang gt owners far and wide are afraid to go against you because they swear you run 10's.
- If you're more interested in buying stock parts from other cars than upgraded parts for yours... (ie. supra pump, evo injectors, dsm injectors dsm smic's, dsm bov, wrx 13t's...)
- If you're more afraid of launching your car for fear of broken parts than you are of taking it into a curve at 100+mph speeds on a road with crazy conditions.
- If every LS1, STI, and Evo 8 out there wants a 'piece' of you.
- If you've ever worked on your car in the parking lot of a car meet with your handy tool kit, work light, and hydrolic jack - w/ stands (which you conveniently carry with you at all times) while hoping to God that you don't drop any bolts 'cause you know you'll never see those again - EVER!!!
- If the left half of your driver's seat is falling apart more and more every time you get in and out of your car.
- If you've ever told somebody, completely more modified and much, much faster than yourself, that you'll only run them off the line - and only for the first 60'.
- If your turbo lag is shorter than the time it takes for you to shift gears...
- If you trust your 'but dyno' more than you trust any of the middle 3 stock gauges in your car.
-You might be a 3s owner if your sports car is worth only 1/2 the price of the mods you have.
-if you've replaced your ECU capacitors.
-if you can do an AWD clutch swap in less than 4 hours and know the exact size & location of every bolt that has to be removed to accomplish the task.
- if you have to ask how to take defrost vents out
<br>- if you have constant improper tire wear
- if you live in fear of your rear wheels locking up
- you can list a hundred or so sarcastic cons about your car and STILL not want to sell it!!!
- poeple ask why you put those hood blisters on.
- people ask why the roof of your stealth is painted black.
- people ask why there is exhaust fumes only coming out of the left exhaust.
- your variable muffler is seized in sport mode
-you instruct the dealership on what part #s you need for the timing belt change
- you are able to tell people that its not raw fish you forgot in the car...its just the capacitors in the ECU.
-you are able to say, "oh the window doesn't work because the regulator is broken. I know exactly what it is but I can't fix it because I don't have $200."
- people have said, "wow I have never seen a Ferrari with that kinda spoiler before."
- everyone in your 15,000 person community ask you what kind of car your driving
-everyone asks you to do a burnout cause they dont understand what awd is , then they argue w/ you when you explain what it is
- Whenever you pull into the dealership, the dumbass car salesmen ask you if you want to trade it in for a "brand new eclipse!!" [or any other new mitsubishi]
- People think your car is a 2000+ model
- you park next to, or near another 3/s you spot at a parking lot
- You have a manual sunroof but would rather leave it on, cuz that wind-deflector looks whack.
- You are looking for someone to sell those little clips that hold the light access panels in the rear hatch
-You are looking for THAT little knob at the end of your manual sunroof crank to buy
- Need a new oil cap
- stockpile on seafoam
- www.3si.org/forum is your homepage
- You try to buy things for your car in groups of other 3/s owners
- You hop in your car, you push a bunch of buttons. You soon start comparing yourself to a pilot in preflight turning on all the equipment.
[ECS, active exhaust, digital climate control, fog lights maybe? etc et cetc]
- you "wave" to cars behind you without raising an arm [ active aero baby ]
- When you meet people for the first time, but have heard what you drive from mutual friends, their eyes light up..
- People know you as the guy [or gal!] who drives "the really nice car"
- You brag that your car can do 0-60 in under 4 seconds in the rain, but you won't pull it out of the garage if there's a single cloud in the sky.
- Your Internet browser homepage is set to www.3SI.org/forums/
- You look at people like they're idiots when they point to your tires and say "light 'em up".
- You have to show the guy at the dealership parts counter how to work his software program.
- When people ask about your "twin" turbo, you open the hood, point to the front turbo, and then say "there's another one just like it back there" (waving your hand at the firewall).
- You will pull the engine to do a clutch and turbo swap, but you won't fix your cracked defroster vents because "that's just too much work".
- You have to explain the difference between All Wheel Drive and Four Wheel Drive at least once a week.
- You don't remember the birthday or anniversary of any family members, but you know the day your car was born.
- You refer to your high-output V8-equipped daily driver as "the slow car".
- (for the younger crowd) Your insurance payment is higher than your car payment.
- (for the mature crowd) Your homeowner's insurance company refuses to cover your car under the same policy.
- You won't trust any mechanic at the dealer, but you will take the advice of a complete stranger over the Internet.
- You get to your destination 5 minutes before anyone else, but then you sit there and let your car idle until everyone else gets there.
- You would rather change your brake pads than your spark plugs.
- You hate SUV drivers that can't see you, but you're too embarassed to use your horn when they cut you off in traffic.
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- You are amazed at how much room there is under the hood of almost every car you see with the hood up.
-If you have no place to put a cup of coffee, change, or a pen.
-If you have a worn spot on the upper side of your seat cover on the door side.
- If Acronyms have become a part of your daily life:
SMIC - FMIC - SAFC - AFR - SAFR - FPR - CFDS - VCU - AWD - FWD - RWD - AWS - TT - VR4 - DSM - LOL - BOV - MBC - EBC - SUV - FIPK - MAF - MAFT - DR - EGT - WOT - SSQV - 3S - TDO4 - TDO5 - T3/T4 - WG - MAS - DP - IPO - ATR - RPS - HKS - DN - K&N - DOHC - SOCH - ATX - MTX - DXD - SBC - DSBC - SS - LSD - A/C - ECU - CAT - MSD - EGR - KYP - SL - RT - ES - A/F - MAP - ABS - SRS.......
-If you ever bought a drill bit at Home Depot with the intent of using solely on a car part (all you kitten gutters)
-If your rear tires wear faster than the fronts even though you can't do burnouts.
- If you have more bad things than good to say about your car
- If you'd sell your house and be homeless just to keep your car
- If you sweat while driving on a hot day becuase your Air Conditioner uses too much of your valuable horsepower
-If your Climate control on 90 degree's high puts out more heat in the car then uner the hood.
-If your car looks faster then its going
-If YOU wouldnt even think your car would have awd
-If you call a performance shop or post online crying about how there is no 9 sec 3/s's
-If your injector o-rings and gaskets cost more then 3 tanks of gas
(seriously dodge wanted like $4-5/per gasket and $3-4/per o-ring and there is 2 gaskets and 1 o-ring per injector, you do the math)
-If you and all other AWD cars are the only ones out racing even though its raining
-If you believe your car belongs on the front cover of Modified Magazine
-If you ever had to explain all the problems with your date just so she didnt think you have a POS car
-If you ever asked a mechanic for help diagnosing your cars problem and whipped out your palm pilot to show him your logs.
-If you can change your spark plugs faster then most people can change their air filters
-If you get phone calls from random 3/s owners wondering if you can help them fix their car.
- You get excited when you break drive train parts as you know you must be making more HP.
-if your date tells you to slow down and you say oh thats only my low boost setting.
-you always have plans to fix something or install something on you day off
-when someone asks you "whats up?" and the first thing you think of has to do with your car.
-when you come home you have to check to see if you got any pm's or reply's to your posts
- If youre friend wakes you up at 9 am on your day off by basically walking in your bedroom while youre still asleep yelling, "Let's go on a drive!!!" Thanks Erick, made my day.
- People ask why your brakes say Mitsubishi on your Dodge Stealth.
- You can communicate flawlessly with a Mitsubishi Master Mechanic about your car.
- At the autocross track, the announcer says they have never seen a Stealth there before, and i win 2nd place.
- 40 year old ladies say I have a nice car, but the ones my age dont even look becuase its not a honda.
- Your parents have never driven/in your car.
- Your little brother is lucky to get a ride in it.
- You know your cars oil filter part number by heart.
-If, when you arrive you think "Sh*t, we're here already?" because you want to keep driving.
-If, when you walk up to your car in the parking lot, gaze at it from different angles and say "Damn, ain't she pretty?".
-If when driving on the highway any Porshe, Corvette, Mustang or (16 yo) Honda driver tailgates you to get you're attention and you make believe you don't see them.
-If, after you blow a ricer away you, in your profound immaturity, wag your active spoiler up and down as if to say "Bye-Bye!". (you mean you've never done that?)
-If, after every mod you say "That's it! That's all I'm doing! It's done!" til youm read another thread that tells about something that will help your comfort, performance, speed, braking, SAFC, RPM, WOT, PSI, M-O-U-S-E!. (I KNOW you've done that!)
-kiss your car goodnight.
-explain what your doing to your car but talk to them like you would a 6 yr old.
- If you have car parts laying everywhere around your house
- If your bored, you either sit on 3si all day or take a cruise in your car just for fun
- If for some reason you always have an extra bolt or two leftover
If you try to figure out if that was a VR4 or just an SL that passed. (hard to see)
If you saw it or not you tell you girlfriend it was an ***
When everything is running good and it's cold outside, you feel like the king of the road.
If they all stare at the local Sonic
If you pull threw the Hondas at Sonic (or any gathering place) pretending that you "looking for someone" just so you can get the looks. (your so vain)
If you drop you back-seats to make he stereo louder!
If you will never change the stock stereo so you can keep you steering wheel controls.
You park in the open as often as possible to get a look at her on your way back to the car.
After 5+ years of owning and 8k in repairs - you still glance back going in to work or home.
you LOVE YOUR FREAKING CAR REGUARDLESS!!!!!
-if every week you have to explain what VR-4 stands for
-if the dealer trys to charge you $5 for a brake caliper bolt
-if everytime you get on the internet, u go to 3si or stealth316 first to research so you would now how to fix your car!!! (ME)
-if everybody asks you if your 18" stock wheels are aftermarket wheels
-if all u do on the weekends is work on your car
-if you like your vr4 more than your girlfriend
-if you spend more time with your car rather than you family
-if all you think about is how to make your car a 9s car
-if your willing to drive 900miles to national meet and 900miles back (ME)
-if you have more pics of you car than your own kid
-if your parents think your going to die everday because u drive 400hp car like a minac
-if your car turn heads at every single red light
-if everybody at the track looks at you weird because you go around the water
-if you car runs 12s at 100mph
-if you miss your 3rd gear all the time
-if you have more fun driving in snow or rain
-if you almost kill yourself because u drive crazy
-if u always tell your self that i am going to drive my car nice this time because u gone throw 3 trannys
-when you want to sell your car, u just hope people dont do any research about it
-if you skip school to just go drive your car
-if you do more research about your car than your school research
-if you know tricks on how to change sparkplugs
-if people think that your climate control is a navagition system when its off
-if you try to do AWD burnouts all the time
-if you buy more maintance parts than performane parts
-if your local auto part store nows you by name because u gone there every week
-if you have two cars because you know your vr4 is going to brake down atleast few times every month
-if you take you car to dealer ships so you can lie to them about u trading your car and go drive the crap out of all there nice cars. (ME)
-if you wish your VR4 was 99 VR4
-if you dream about DR stage 3 heads all the time
If you can tell the difference between 10mm, 12mm, 14mm, and 17mm head size bolts by glancing at them from a distance of 4 feet away.
- If you can tell the difference between 10mm, 12mm, 14mm, and 17mm bolt head sizes by touch without being able to see the bolts.
- If, when you work under your hood, you are more worried about dropping a bolt than about cross-threading it or rounding it off.
- If the first thing you do when looking at the underside of your car is check the transfer case for leaks.
- And the second thing you do is check the transmission for leaks.
- And the third thing you do is check the rear differential for leaks.
- You just read all 99 posts of this thread in one sitting
-You swear you'll put less miles on your car, and then offer to drive.
-if you r constantly looking for tha part# of tha 3ft tall asian man!
-If you try to gut your own cats to save $250 on eliminators and end up spending $250 at the doctors to flush your eyes
if your car has been down for more that a year and you're still buying upgrades for it.
When you take it to a mechanic, and they sit there scratching their head when they see you have a steering rack on the rear wheels.
When that same mechanic asks you why your Dodge has a Mitsubishi logo and says "Made in Japan".
When changing a timing belt isn't much harder than changing the spark plugs.
- when you can drop and dissassemble two 6spds in 6 hrs
- when you've got spare tranny's laying around incase one breaks
- when you have a business license soley to get 20% off at the dealership
-If you're driving your car when its wet with your windows down, and you get pissed off because the shape of the car allowed a bunch of water to get in from the roof all over your pants
-If you pull your engine every other oil change
-You bought the car assuming it was the closest thing to a supra
-If you walk up to the dealer parts counter with a laptop with caps loaded in hand.
-If you have a pile of old clutches sitting in your garage
-If you were able to identify what type of 3s was in the video of the girl and the shift knob (you guys know the one)
-If you turn your spare long block into a box holder to hold boxes of spare parts that you have for your 3s in case it breaks.
-If the mitsubishi master mechanic at the local dealership calls YOU for advice when it comes to a 3s that a customer brought to the dealership for service.
- if you realize you could just bought a Lamborghini and saved a few bucks in the process....
-If the only thing that stands inbetween you and a massive boost leak is a plastic medicine bottle cap.
-If you have to upgrade your preturbo intake pipes to aviod having to buy the stock preturbo pipes just to get a new set of rubber gaskets.
-If your "accent color choosing" is all thrown out of whack bc your plenum has red lettering on it.
-You print our buisness cards or flyiers to handout to 3/S cars you randomly see around town so you can brainwash them to the ways of 3si.
-You still haven't seen Star Wars: Episode 3 (pretty big "movie" deal) because you have been working on your car till 1 or 2 in the morning EVERY night since the 19th.
-If your are forever stuck with a plam to datalog instead of a sweet sweet laptop because your a "hybrid."
-You post online saying "women love my car, I pick up chicks all the time because of it, and I'm a lady killer!" when you actually can't get them to even look in your direction because someone across the way has a mustang. (no personal experience on this one)
-You strain your brain right after you woke up trying to think of more of these.
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